I Know I look like a Mess but it’s too Early!

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I usually roll out of bed at 7am to walk my dog. I look like a mess, I am aware of that. I have total bedhead, I probably stink since I haven’t showered yet, and I’m wearing the first thing I find. I don’t normally look like this in public, I’ll go home after I walk my dog and put myself together. I’m sure my neighbors  think I’m some kind of lazy bum but in all honesty it’s way too early for me to care about what I look like!

Same thing happened in college. I would show up to my 8am classes (although this is rare because I usually overslept) and there would be girls there dressed immaculately with a full face of make up. I felt totally inadequate. I could dress up like that, just not at this time.

Are there other girls (or boys) like me? Or am I just incredibly lazy to in the mornings? I know I should try to dress my best but seriously I am just too tired to even care. In fact I hated getting ready in the early mornings so much that I got a second shift job and only took college classes in the afternoon. That gave me plenty of time to dress up. This way no one I interacted with knew truly the way I look in the AM.

The point being is, if you plan on meeting me early in the morning don’t expect too much!

 

Asking for Help Doesn’t Make You a Failure!

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In our society we value responsibility and individualism. It’s good to be able to care for yourself and make your own decisions. It is also okay to ask for help! Asking for help doesn’t mean that you’ve completely failed at being independent. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s just a part of life.

I was always scared to confide in my parents about my anxiety disorder. I suffered many years in silence hoping that they would catch on without me having to tell them I couldn’t go through it alone. Sure, they noticed some signs but I can’t blame them for not seeing how much I was struggling. I finally found the courage to tell them, I knew I would be safe and I would face no judgements. Since telling my parents I’ve been able to get access to care that I never even knew existed! I feel like I can live my life normally and I still have a lot of support.

This applies to smaller issues too. I remember being in school and not wanting to ask teachers for help. I felt stupid and didn’t want to single myself out. Of course my grades plummeted and I chose to do nothing about it. Looking back on it, I don’t think the teachers would have minded one bit if I went to them for help. That’s their job anyway, to help me learn!

It’s easier said than done, I get that. I have no problem telling my friends they can come to me for help but it just doesn’t feel easy to go to them. It makes sense, we are so much harder on ourselves. I think what we need to learn is that if we don’t ask for help we may end up in a very dangerous or unfavorable position.

So, if you need help with something… go tell someone!

No One Told Me I’d Still Be Having Pimples in my Twenties!

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I thought pimples were a teenage thing, basically they just occur during puberty. As you can imagine I’m not very happy now that I’m in my twenties and still get them. I woke up just yesterday and had one on my chin and another near my nose. Sure they weren’t very big but this makes me still feel like a teenager. It drives me crazy.

I try to wash my face religiously. Usually it just ends up drying out my skin and it looks terrible. I try eating healthier too, which works but  as soon as I eat one greasy thing a pimple begins to form. I’ve heard drinking water helps so I carry around a water bottle to make sure I stay hydrated. Still to no avail they pop up every week.

It’s not like they are super noticeable but they are definitely there. I look around at all my peers and I swear their skin looks perfect. Either they are crazy good with make up or I’m just totally unlucky that I still get pimples. I’m just sitting here hoping that I wont be in my 30s the same post!

 

The Funny Ways I am Stereotyped as an Indian.

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I am of Indian origin. I was born in Indian and lived there till I was two years old. Both my parents were raised in America so we tend to live a very Americanized lifestyle. That being said, I still look very Indian so many people assume I’m “fresh off the boat” until they hear me speak with my strong American accent. Anyway, here is a list of stereotypes and things people have said to me because I look Indian…

  1. Why don’t you wear a red dot on your head? Does your mom wear one? (No, and the red dot is called a bindi)
  2. Are you muslim…?
  3. You must love curry. We have this joke that Indians all smell like curry!
  4. Are your parents going to set up an arranged marriage? (No.)
  5. Wow, for an Indian you speak really good English.
  6. Aren’t you not allowed to even talk to boys?
  7. Indians are either super rich or super poor.
  8. You’re dark for an Indian… do you tan a lot?
  9. Do you speak Indian?
  10. I bet you have no choice but to become a doctor, right? (No.)
  11. You must be vegetarian… aren’t all Indians vegetarian? (No.)
  12. Do any of your family members work at 7/11? (Again, no.)
  13. You must be crazy smart because you’re Indian!
  14. You are really pretty for an Indian!

This is just a short list but it’s so funny to me to see the ways people stereotype me. I know they aren’t trying to be rude or offensive the majority of the time. I wonder how other people are stereotyped?

Stop Pitting Women Against Each Other!

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Everywhere I look, celebrity news, Facebook, Instagram, in schools and at work places I notice that women and girls are pitted against each other. It feels like we are being encouraged to compete rather than help each other out.

Why does it matter who wore an outfit better? Why does it matter who is thinner? Why does it matter who is more successful? Or who is more lady-like? I’m tired of the constant comparisons between women. Does it really matter whose butt is better between Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian? I don’t think so! It just seems so irrelevant making women feel like they need to outdo one another. Life doesn’t need to be about being better than everyone else around you.

I notice this happening on Instagram quote a bit. Girls will post pictures of themselves and usually the comments will be positive, but occasionally you get the rude comment which declares the person as ugly or fat. Why does it necessary to bring someone else down? Instead you should be encouraging that person to be the best that they can be. As women we are doing ourselves no justice if we don’t work together. How are we supposed to overcome sexism when we can’t even accept one another?

I don’t know if this happens with men too. I always envisioned men being a little bit more collective. For example the term “bromance”, is there a female equivalent to this? It just seems like the bond between males seems to be stronger than females. Of course this is just speculation, I would need a males input on this!

Let’s Just Pretend You Don’t Notice My Split Ends!

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No matter what I do I seem to be plagued with split ends. Every time I leave the hairdresser I think to myself, “That’s it. No more straightening or blow drying”. Within a few weeks my hair is back to its same old way. It drives me crazy and it doesn’t help that I have black hair which does a great job of exacerbating it.

So, I’ve tried to cut out using any heat products on my hair. It works, sort of. I still eventually get split ends. I just hate having to give up those things in order to not have split ends. My natural hair isn’t pretty so I sort of need a blow dryer and straightener! I’ve tried those heat protection sprays but I haven’t been able to find one that I really enjoy.

I’ve also tried hair products. I found a pretty good one by Nexxus, I would just use it in the shower and once I stepped out my split ends would be gone. Of course that doesn’t last and I needed to continue to use it frequently but it wasn’t cheap!

I’ve tried trimming my own hair. I thought I was doing it pretty well until I went into the salon and they asked me who had cut my hair last! I was totally embarrassed and never tried that again. Haha.

This has left me with only one option… pray that the people around me don’t notice my split ends. I hope that they are at a far enough distance to not notice the wreck my hair is. That being said, I’m sure they notice. Who couldn’t? I literally have them all over my head!

Here’s to hoping that I’ll finally figure out how to get rid of them or at least be able to accept my split ends (sure…).

Do Something Out Of Your Comfort Zone Everyday.

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I live by the idea that if something scares me then all the more reason to go ahead and do it, within reason of course. I have pretty bad anxiety and for me very crowded places make me incredibly uncomfortable. So, I have decided to make it my goal to face a situation like that everyday. Nothing major, I can run in and out of a busy drugstore or take a trip to the mall on a Saturday afternoon.The point is I am telling my brain that I’m okay and nothing bad will happen to me!

A huge part of my anxiety is avoidance. I would avoid social events, classes, meetings, presentations etc. I always tried to find a way to rationalize it inside my head. I would make up things like, I wasn’t feeling good or I thought there was no benefit in attending class. In reality I was struggling to do simple everyday tasks.

This is why I believe that everyone should do something they are uncomfortable with. Hate giving people compliments? Well why not tell a random stranger their outfit is nice  and leave them with a smile on their face. Hate driving? Well drive to the closest shop and work your way up. I know, it’s way harder than it sounds. It makes you feel like crap during it but once it’s over with there’s a sense of relief and pride. It took me months before I really got the hang of it. But when I do manage to do it I always feel like I have accomplished something. I am fighting my fear and anxiety.