My mom is very outgoing, happy, and affectionate. My dad on the other hand is very straight to the point, not very affectionate, and speaks his mind. Both my parents have great qualities to them and have helped me so much in life. It just has been hard growing up with a parent that wasn’t affectionate.
I wouldn’t describe him as “fatherly”. It annoyed me watching movies and seeing the dads in them because they were nothing like mine. I used to compare my dad to my friend’s dads. Once my dad even got me to compare my friends dad’s to him, asking me who was nicer. I know my dad cares for me and wanted me to succeed but he doesn’t do a great job at showing it. I don’t fully blame him, he grew up in a very “broken” household. He is far better than his own father, which I give him a lot of credit for.
I always wanted a dad that was laid back and approachable. My dad is the complete opposite of laid back. Being around him is like walking on eggshells to make sure that nothing is said or done to annoy him. There are times, though, that his “fatherly” side will shine through the rest of his personality. If anyone is sick in my family he becomes extremely concerned and caring. That gives me some sense of relief to know that he has a soft spot.
Sometimes I look back on my childhood and teen years and wonder what it would have been like to have a father more like my mother. Would my life be better? Would my anxiety be less? I can ask myself these questions over and over again, but what is the point? You can’t change someone, especially not your own parent. Plus, I should just be grateful that I have a father in my life.