Having An Unaffectionate Parent Is Hard

father_and_daughter__by_serhanvardarli

My mom is very outgoing, happy, and affectionate. My dad on the other hand is very straight to the point, not very affectionate, and speaks his mind. Both my parents have great qualities to them and have helped me so much in life. It just has been hard growing up with a parent that wasn’t affectionate.

I wouldn’t describe him as “fatherly”. It annoyed me watching movies and seeing the dads in them because they were nothing like mine. I used to compare my dad to my friend’s dads. Once my dad even got me to compare my friends dad’s to him, asking me who was nicer. I know my dad cares for me and wanted me to succeed but he doesn’t do a great job at showing it. I don’t fully blame him, he grew up in a very “broken” household. He is far better than his own father, which I give him a lot of credit for.

I always wanted a dad that was laid back and approachable. My dad is the complete opposite of laid back. Being around him is like walking on eggshells to make sure that nothing is said or done to annoy him. There are times, though, that his “fatherly” side will shine through the rest of his personality. If anyone is sick in my family he becomes extremely concerned and caring. That gives me some sense of relief to know that he has a soft spot.

Sometimes I look back on my childhood and teen years and wonder what it would have been like to have a father more like my mother. Would my life be better? Would my anxiety be less? I can ask myself these questions over and over again, but what is the point? You can’t change someone, especially not your own parent. Plus, I should just be grateful that I have a father in my life.

6 thoughts on “Having An Unaffectionate Parent Is Hard

  1. Dr Ruth 2point0 (Anna) says:

    It’s so hard to change bad cycles from out FOA (family of origin). Kudos to your dad for the effort, but I understand your struggle. I know how difficult that can be. Hopefully, you’ll be an even better parent!

    Like

  2. krazykoalatree says:

    I’m going to get straight to the point…..my fathers a totally dick he doesn’t care about me what so ever and my mother had the guts to break up with him but for me I wish I had a dad like my friends and yet I can’t I really actually don’t like him he never once in my life has cared for me and yet excepts me to love him back! I’m so happy yet sad I’ve seen this I’m happy because I’ve met you who may feel the same yet I’m sad that you had to go through similar to me

    Liked by 1 person

      • krazykoalatree says:

        Yeah so thankfully doesn’t and I’m glad your dad does…it’s hard it really is but I’m getting there because I know there are people out there who would love even a dad but I try so hard to get him out of my life that when he has to be involved it’s just tiring….

        Like

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