Everyone Is Beautiful In Their Own Way… Except Me

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I have this theory that everyone is beautiful in their own way. It’s not an uncommon theory, I hear people say it all the time. To me it means some people are physically beautiful, while others may have a beautiful soul or personality. Sounds cheesy, I know.

Unfortunately, I have this theory for everyone but myself. I just can’t see the beauty that I hold. Sure, I could ask my parents and friends and they would say, “model” or “gorgeous”. But they have to say those things, right? Like, I’m not going to tell my friend they are ugly. That’s just mean. And don’t parents always think their children are the most beautiful things on the planet?

I know I lack self confidence and I’ve always been like that. Thanks, anxiety. I have a habit of comparing myself to models, celebrities, and peers. It’s not easy going through life trying to make sure you are as good as others. I can’t even grasp how people have hundreds of selfie and body shots on Instagram. I have to take about 35 pictures of myself before I find one that is considered ‘OK’. Forget about finding 100!

I hate saying it but, I care what people think of me. I shouldn’t… but I haven’t gotten to the point yet where I am comfortable in my own skin.

Wavy/Curly Hair Struggles

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I was born with straight shiny black hair (see previous blog post for picture). Unfortunately, by the time I hit 5th grade it started to become wavy. Now my hair is wavy for the most part, but sometimes it’ll dry completely curly. I have spent way too much time cursing my hair and wishing it was straight. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be straight… it just needs to be the RIGHT amount of wavy, like beach waves.

The thing I hate most about my hair is that as soon as I run a brush through it my hair gets 5 times bigger. Hair brushes make my hair way too poofy and frizzy. I try to straighten my hair and that just leaves me frustrated. I get split ends so quick from using all that heat on my hair, plus I suck at straightening the back of my head so it looks ridiculous. And of course once I start straightening I have to keep going till I finish.

Don’t even get me started on humidity. I know as soon as I visit anywhere humid that I should simply give up on my hair, there is no use. As soon as I step outside all my great work will be gone. I have even gotten to the point of warning others that my hair will be a mess.

Oh, and lets not forget falling asleep with wet hair. Falling asleep with wet hair is pretty much an invitation for my hair to turn into a huge knot. It’s actually quite funny to see which gravity defying  directions my hair dries in.

Oh well, there’s worse things in life.

Do People Even Care if I Wear Stuff From “Last Season”?

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(Excuse my hastily done nails!)

I hear this phrase all the time on TV and sometimes in person. I sort of understand what it means. However, I’ll wear the same item of clothing for over a year especially if I really like it. In fact it isn’t just clothes people talk about! I am currently wearing a burgundy nail polish and someone told me that it’s spring I should really change the color. I sort of see their point but honestly burgundy suits my skin tone so why can’t I wear it whenever? I don’t really think that me wearing a dark color on my nails is really going to change the way someone thinks of me…? At least I hope not!

So, my question is… does it really matter if I wear clothes/nail polish colors from last season? I understand that people who are really into fashion want to keep up with the trends, no problem with that. But what about us “regular” people? I’m all for dressing well, but I just never understood the concept.

I probably shouldn’t care so much what others think of me. That being said, I’m still trying to figure out this whole “how to be an adult” thing.

 

It Always Seems to Rain as Soon as I do my Hair.

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On the days that I finally get around to doing my hair it always seems to be the days it rains or it’s incredibly windy outside. Just this morning I decided to my hair, it actually looked great. Well, it did until I took my dog out for a walk and it turned into a big poofy mess. It only took my hair 5 minutes to go from maintained to disastrous. I decided not to fix it when I got back home and instead said “screw it” and went on my way.

I hate seeing all the effort I put into my hair go to waste. I have a thick head full of hair so it’s not easy work blowdrying or straightening it. In fact, I hate having it go to waste so much that sometimes I’ll refuse to go outside if it’s raining. I know it sounds ridiculous. I’d like to think that they’re other girls out there who do that too.

There isn’t much of a point to this post except for ranting about my now messy hair. I really hope I don’t run into anyone that I know.

I Know I look like a Mess but it’s too Early!

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I usually roll out of bed at 7am to walk my dog. I look like a mess, I am aware of that. I have total bedhead, I probably stink since I haven’t showered yet, and I’m wearing the first thing I find. I don’t normally look like this in public, I’ll go home after I walk my dog and put myself together. I’m sure my neighbors  think I’m some kind of lazy bum but in all honesty it’s way too early for me to care about what I look like!

Same thing happened in college. I would show up to my 8am classes (although this is rare because I usually overslept) and there would be girls there dressed immaculately with a full face of make up. I felt totally inadequate. I could dress up like that, just not at this time.

Are there other girls (or boys) like me? Or am I just incredibly lazy to in the mornings? I know I should try to dress my best but seriously I am just too tired to even care. In fact I hated getting ready in the early mornings so much that I got a second shift job and only took college classes in the afternoon. That gave me plenty of time to dress up. This way no one I interacted with knew truly the way I look in the AM.

The point being is, if you plan on meeting me early in the morning don’t expect too much!

 

No One Told Me I’d Still Be Having Pimples in my Twenties!

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I thought pimples were a teenage thing, basically they just occur during puberty. As you can imagine I’m not very happy now that I’m in my twenties and still get them. I woke up just yesterday and had one on my chin and another near my nose. Sure they weren’t very big but this makes me still feel like a teenager. It drives me crazy.

I try to wash my face religiously. Usually it just ends up drying out my skin and it looks terrible. I try eating healthier too, which works but  as soon as I eat one greasy thing a pimple begins to form. I’ve heard drinking water helps so I carry around a water bottle to make sure I stay hydrated. Still to no avail they pop up every week.

It’s not like they are super noticeable but they are definitely there. I look around at all my peers and I swear their skin looks perfect. Either they are crazy good with make up or I’m just totally unlucky that I still get pimples. I’m just sitting here hoping that I wont be in my 30s the same post!

 

Let’s Just Pretend You Don’t Notice My Split Ends!

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No matter what I do I seem to be plagued with split ends. Every time I leave the hairdresser I think to myself, “That’s it. No more straightening or blow drying”. Within a few weeks my hair is back to its same old way. It drives me crazy and it doesn’t help that I have black hair which does a great job of exacerbating it.

So, I’ve tried to cut out using any heat products on my hair. It works, sort of. I still eventually get split ends. I just hate having to give up those things in order to not have split ends. My natural hair isn’t pretty so I sort of need a blow dryer and straightener! I’ve tried those heat protection sprays but I haven’t been able to find one that I really enjoy.

I’ve also tried hair products. I found a pretty good one by Nexxus, I would just use it in the shower and once I stepped out my split ends would be gone. Of course that doesn’t last and I needed to continue to use it frequently but it wasn’t cheap!

I’ve tried trimming my own hair. I thought I was doing it pretty well until I went into the salon and they asked me who had cut my hair last! I was totally embarrassed and never tried that again. Haha.

This has left me with only one option… pray that the people around me don’t notice my split ends. I hope that they are at a far enough distance to not notice the wreck my hair is. That being said, I’m sure they notice. Who couldn’t? I literally have them all over my head!

Here’s to hoping that I’ll finally figure out how to get rid of them or at least be able to accept my split ends (sure…).

Matching Clothes And Accessories Is Rocket Science.

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I’m no fashionista by any means but I wish I had some intuition when it came to matching clothes and accessories. In general I don’t even bother what color clothes I’m wearing as long as they aren’t too similar of a shade to another article on me. I should probably care a little more than that but I just don’t seem to understand how to match!

I really don’t get how people are so good at matching. I do try to look nice, but that usually means wearing something that compliments my body and looks clean. I thought that was good enough. Well, then I overheard a friend talking about how they always make sure their shoes match their outfits. I sat there confused as I have worn the same brown boots all winter. Am I doing it wrong? I will usually change up my shoes during the summer but for the winter I strictly have one pair of boots. They are comfy and get me through the  snow and I’ve gotten plenty of compliments on them so they can’t be that bad.

I have the same problem with jewelry too. I wear the same necklace and earrings everyday as well as a hair tie around my wrist if that even counts. I never really thought of changing it up. I’m not a very extroverted person so I tend not to want to draw much attention to me.

Anyway, I don’t get matching. I need a personal stylist or someone to write me up a guide because at this point I’m just wearing whatever I think looks “good enough”. It was easy to get away with it while I was in college but now that I’ve graduated I feel like I need to step up my game!

“You’re So Thin. Go Eat A Burger!”

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I’ve had a fair number of people tell me this. I’m not sure if they are trying to be funny, but it is really annoying! Could I go up to a heavier person and tell them to “eat a salad”? No. So, you shouldn’t be allowed to tell me to eat fatty foods. Also, I love burgers so I have no problem eating another one. I just don’t need you telling me to do so.

People often comment on my weight. Usually it’s some form of telling me I’m really skinny. I don’t know why people feel the need to point this out to me, I own a mirror! Are you jealous? Don’t be, I’d much rather have a curvier body. Do you think I’m anorexic? Well, I am not. Are you simply stating a fact? Because this is something I already know. I don’t understand the point of this. Do you go up to blondes and say to them, “Wow, your hair is so light!” Yeah, didn’t think so.

If you couldn’t already tell I absolutely hate being told this. I don’t find it funny in any way. I almost feel like you are shaming my body. Stop telling me what to ingest because I don’t sit around and tell you what to eat. I am perfectly aware that I need to make strides to be healthier.

There are so many reasons why people may be skinnier or heavier, medical issues, mental health etc. So if you truly thought you were helping someone by simply telling them to eat a burger, think again!

Why Do Clothes Always Look Better On The Mannequins?

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Okay, I understand clothes looking better on models than me. Of course, they are models for a reason! But mannequins, really? I always see cute outfits on mannequins in the stores and search around for an exact replica. I get all excited until I get into the changing rooms and realize I look frumpy.

Maybe it’s because the mannequins are taller, have a “fuller” body, perhaps more curvy. It just frustrates me that even a mannequin can look better than me! I don’t understand how something can look so good but them bam it looks ridiculous when I put it on. Am I doing something wrong?

Also another reason why shopping online is so hard, although the pictures aren’t of mannequins I just know that I’ll never look as good as the person in it. Maybe I’m way too hard on myself.

I really hope there’s others like me. It’s not fun to be out-dressed by a mannequin.