I have this theory that everyone is beautiful in their own way. It’s not an uncommon theory, I hear people say it all the time. To me it means some people are physically beautiful, while others may have a beautiful soul or personality. Sounds cheesy, I know.
Unfortunately, I have this theory for everyone but myself. I just can’t see the beauty that I hold. Sure, I could ask my parents and friends and they would say, “model” or “gorgeous”. But they have to say those things, right? Like, I’m not going to tell my friend they are ugly. That’s just mean. And don’t parents always think their children are the most beautiful things on the planet?
I know I lack self confidence and I’ve always been like that. Thanks, anxiety. I have a habit of comparing myself to models, celebrities, and peers. It’s not easy going through life trying to make sure you are as good as others. I can’t even grasp how people have hundreds of selfie and body shots on Instagram. I have to take about 35 pictures of myself before I find one that is considered ‘OK’. Forget about finding 100!
I hate saying it but, I care what people think of me. I shouldn’t… but I haven’t gotten to the point yet where I am comfortable in my own skin.