Still wondering how do adults even make friends?

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I seriously don’t know how to make friend. I mean, I did have friends in school. Sure, I wasn’t the most popular person but I definitely had someone to eat lunch with. My current job has me working alone most of the time so I don’t see my coworkers much. When I do see them I don’t know how to ask if they want to hang out after work. They all seem to have their own separate exciting lives.

All of this was prompted by my dad coming up to me this evening and asking, “So what do you do on the computer? All you do is work and then go on the computer.” He has somewhat of a point. I just don’t know how to make friends anymore. It doesn’t help that I’m shy.

What makes it even worse is looking at my Facebook or Snapchat and seeing everyone’s exciting daily adventures. I’m pretty sure the most excitement I’ve had all week is buying a new pair of jeans. You would think that at almost 24 years old I would have figured this stuff out by now. Nope.

Thanks dad for reminding me that I’m basically friendless.

Do I Really Have A Soul Mate?

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Not everyone believes in soul mates, and I’m on the fence myself. Is there really only ONE person in this entire world that is perfect for me? I find it hard to believe that, considering the sheer population of this planet. And what if my soul mate is living in Spain? What if my soul mate has already gotten married? What if my soul mate died last week? Am I doomed for the rest of my love life? I really hope not.

I would love to have that fairy tale ending where I have my own Prince Charming. Of course, I can’t wait around for that. I don’t want to be sitting on my bed wishing every day for the next twenty years that he will come walking through my door. I promise you, I’m not here to totally bash the theory of soul mates. I’ve definitely met couples who seem great together. I’m sure in their minds they have found their soul mates, and I am truly happy for them. However, I believe the majority of relationships have their ups and downs, twists and turns. So I’d be worried if a relationship was all glitters and rainbows. I’m curious as to how many people believe they have married their soul mate?

So yes, maybe there are soul mates, but I think that word should be plural. There’s multiple people in this world that I would be “perfect” with. Instead of 1 in 7 billion how about 25 in 7 billion? Chances are I wont meet more than one or two of them in my life, but as long as I feel like I’m with someone who strengthens me then I’ll be happy.

But I’m just a young naive girl, what do I know about marriage? 🙂

 

“Long Distance Relationships NEVER Work!”

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I hear people say this all the time. First thing I wonder is… how is it possible that it has never worked? Are you saying out of the billions of people on this planet not a single long distance relationship has been successful? Sure, maybe they have a higher rate of failure but that doesn’t mean it will never work. Just by telling others that their relationship will fail is putting that idea in their head and making it more likely to happen.

I think that long distance relationships have different pressures than “normal” relationships. Communication is a big part of long distance relationships, since any physical connection is limited it’s important to connect in other ways. Honestly, communication should be important in any relationship for it to be functional. Funnily enough, I’ve heard people disregard long distance relationships and saying they aren’t “real” because unless you are together in person what is the point? I see their logic as flawed, a long distance relationship is just as real as any other relationship. There’s plenty of reasons for distance, jobs, work, school, family etc. However, that doesn’t mean the distance will never come to a close! Sometimes people need to work on their own lives before being able to move closer to their significant other.

I do think it takes the right type of people to be in this kind of relationship. It requires a lot of patience and effort. It’s hard for those not in this type of relationship to truly understand all the facets that come alone with it. Thus, they should not feel to tell you that there is no hope in your relationship. Every single relationship has a chance of failure or success, don’t let others determine the outcome for you.

 

Will Anyone Love Me As Much As My Dog?

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This question seems to linger in the back of my head. I know that people’s pets adore them, look up to them, and all around think they are amazing but why can’t people be like that too? I wan’t people to think I’m as wonderful as my dog does!

I have a rescue Border Collie. He’s adorable, but a little bit sassy. He’s quite a bit of work, and a big ball of energy but that doesn’t change my love for him. He is always by my side (literally) when I’m feeling down. It’s almost as if he can sense my emotions. He truly doesn’t want me to feel like crap, maybe that’s because I’m probably less inclined to play with him when I do!

He actually enjoys just hanging out with me. How many people genuinely like hanging out with me? Probably not a huge amount (I’m boring and like hanging out at home). He doesn’t seem to mind that I want to sit on the couch all day with my laptop! Although he does get jealous of it and tries to nudge my hand away from the keyboard so he can get a few belly rubs. I guess what I’m getting at is, how is someone going to love me so much that they don’t mind my incredibly laziness like he does?

He is legitimately happy when I come home. His ears perk up, he wags his tail, and begins to bark. It’s like he actually enjoys my company! I mean sure there’s time he probably wants his alone time (he hides out in the guest room) but he likes being with me. How many people in my life get that excited when they see me?! I can tell you… I have never seen my friends jump up and down when I’ve arrived at their houses.

I just want someone who will think I am as great as my dog does. My dog thinks I’m this girl that loves going on walks, spoiling him with treats, and gives  amazing belly rubs. He really loves me, and I certainly really love him. I just wish people were this easy to impress!

Do long-distance relationships work?

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Do they? Especially if there is no specific “end date” in sight, is it worth it? I have conflicting thoughts on this.

I know that once you find someone who is great, makes you happy, and just overall makes your life better you shouldn’t be so willing to let them go. How often are you going to find such an amazing person? What if I don’t find anyone just as amazing in my city, or even my state?! I think it’s hard to determine if they are worth the long-distance in the first place. Like do they have to be a certain level of amazing to be worth the hundreds or even thousands of miles of distance? You don’t want to pass up on a great opportunity. It’s too bad we can’t predict the future.

The cost! All those train, plane, and bus tickets definitely add up. It’s not like you can buy a plane ticket every week just to visit for the weekend and then go back to your boring old life without them. It’s definitely a wallet drainer, but I guess that’s better than spending it on clothes and accessories you do not need. Unless you have pretty well paying jobs and a flexible schedule the visits aren’t so easy to plan.

And how the heck do you deal with the “missing” part? I mean… seeing their texts and hearing their voice over the phone isn’t even close to being the same as having them standing right in front of you. It gets daunting having to countdown the days till the next meeting, it’s even worse when you don’t even have a next meeting planned. How do you keep sane in this waiting game?

All that being said, when you are together in person it all seems worth it. You realize how happy they make you and you forget about how hard it is when you are alone. Even thought you aren’t technically alone, they are still there for you just not physically.

Pretty much I think they work but it takes the right kind of people do it. You really have to want to make it work to be successful.

 

Why I like dogs more than humans.

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I like dogs more than humans (sorry cats, I am allergic to you). When I’m feeling down what do I do? Look at cute dog videos on YouTube. If I could have any job in the world what would it be? Running a doggy daycare. There’s just something about seeing their tales wag in excitement that makes me so happy.

I know my dog isn’t going to back out on me when we’ve already made plans to hang out. I know he isn’t going to talk about me behind my back. I know that he genuinely likes me the way I am (of course I’m sure he wishes I gave him more treats). He’s actually happy to see me when I walk into the house. Like, how many people get excited by my presence? Probably not more than I can count on one hand. Being an introvert they are the perfect thing for me. I’m having some interaction but I don’t have to worry about keeping up a conversation.

I hope I don’t become a crazy dog lady because honestly, I would be too lazy to watch after that many dogs 24/7. I really hope I’m not the only one that likes an animal more than humans.

Meeting his Christian mother. 

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Let me preface by saying I have no problem with people who are religious; I was just raised in a non religious household so I didn’t have much exposure. He on the other hand was raised in a very religious household. He went to a Christian school and university. As of now, he is reconsidering his faith.

I originally met his mother for a quick 20 minutes or so over the summer. She was super nice and friendly. She hugged me and thought I had a good head on my shoulders. That being said I don’t think she thought I was around to stay. A month ago he suggested I have dinner at his mother’s house with her boyfriend. I agreed, because well she was super nice and welcoming 7 months ago!

Upon arriving at her house I started to get nervous. I’m a pretty shy person and I know that it sometimes makes me come off as standoffish. Either way she welcomed us into her home graciously and made a delicious home cooked meal.

Though all seemed fine I could sense her disapproval. First of all, I’m this tiny little quiet brown girl. Probably not what she imagined. I mean I really did try to dress as cute and conservatively as I could. Secondly, her son and I had spent time together alone. Even though we are in our 20s this is not okay. In some ways I get that, like, who is this girl my youngest son is hanging out with? Lastly, I simply don’t share her beliefs and frankly neither does her son. We don’t attend church or bible study, we don’t say grace, and well there’s a ton of differences. Perhaps all of this has less to do with religion but more to do with being conservative. I come from a very liberal family, pro-choice, same sex marriage, sex education etc. I can see how that can be a little daunting to people who prefer the conservative lifestyle.

Either way religious and political views aside, what should matter is how happy I make him. I may not be this beautiful, tall, blonde, Christian, outgoing girl… but at least I’m unique!